Flame, Part II

Orbit

Here's the (much longer) part 2!  I added some more facts/interview snippets at the end, like last time.


August 2011

 

It’s a couple of weeks later and Yongguk and Youngjae are out running errands, trying to rush through their shopping list so they can get back home and crash. They’re wandering around a grocery store when Yongguk finally breaks the peaceful silence.

           

“How are you and Daehyun getting along?”

 

Youngjae makes a face, “Don’t get me wrong hyung, it’s not exactly that we don’t get along…we just don’t talk much, period. I mean besides the normal small talk. I barely know the guy and we’ve been sharing a bunk for weeks!”

 

Yongguk sighs and nods, “I was worried about that.”

 

Youngjae stops in the middle of the aisle and turns to face the leader fully. “It’s not that I’m not trying, hyung. I’m not even angry with him. I mean, I was angry at the situation at first, but to be honest vocal practice is so much easier now that I don’t have to hit those ridiculous notes anymore. I can just do my thing, and he does his, you know? And we actually sound good together! I don’t know, hyung; he just seems really closed off.”

 

It was true. Daehyun barely spoke to anyone except Yongguk, and even then he wasn’t nearly as chatty as Yongguk knew he could be. It wasn’t too hard to avoid being social in the dorm, even in such close quarters; their days were packed with practices, appointments, fittings and a whole host of other commitments. Any time off went towards a well-deserved night of sleep. Youngjae and Daehyun had it even worse, having to go to extra training sessions with their fitness and vocal coaches so that they could sing like ballad artists while dancing heavy choreography. Hearing that the member who was spending the most amount of time with their new addition was just as distanced worried the leader.

 

Yongguk frowns, “I don’t get it, when we first met he was shy, yeah, but then he was fine. Maybe he’s still getting used to us all. Let’s give it a few days.”

 

*          *          *

 

Daehyun is nothing but polite and friendly, but Yongguk continues to see little of the boy he had met initially. He rarely took the initiative to start conversations, and simply went along as he was told, staying out of everyone’s way. Predictably, this made it difficult for the others to interact with him, and Yongguk could see that if this continued it would only result in Daehyun’s increased isolation, intentional or not. Despite his determination to keep a safe distance from the vocalist, he couldn’t very well let something like this continue as leader. It was after another day of stilted conversing, frustrated looks from Youngjae, and pointed ones from Himchan that Yongguk decided to take the new vocalist out for coffee so they could talk. He told Himchan of his plans and the elder suggested they have a group meeting once the two returned. With only five more months to debut, their team work needed to be seamless.

 

Yongguk is leading a subdued Daehyun to a small café near TS’s headquarters. He and Himchan had come here a lot when they first met as trainees, and Yongguk hopes the light atmosphere will help him breach the younger’s silent walls. After ordering, Yongguk ponders how to begin the conversation when Daehyun’s voice sounds.

 

“I’m sorry, hyung. God, I knew this was a bad idea…”

 

The second part to his statement is mumbled and Yongguk frowns, “What are you talking about, Daehyun-ah?”

 

One of Daehyun’s hands is tight around the coffee mug in front of him and the other taps nervously on the wooden table. He refuses to meet Yongguk’s eyes. “I’ve let you down already. That’s what this is about right? I promise I’ll do better, whatever it is. I know I need to get my dancing on point, and my voice has been so pitchy lately, but I can fix-”

 

“Daehyun-ah.”

 

Daehyun stops immediately, looking at Yongguk and seemingly ready for a scolding.

 

Yongguk smiles gently, “Your voice sounds amazing, always. And your dancing is…well, your dancing could use some work, but so can mine and you’ve only just gotten here.”

 

Daehyun breathes a small sigh of relief, “So, I’m not being kicked out?”

 

“No, nothing like that. It’s just that you’ve been a little…quiet and the members aren’t sure how to approach you. I know it must be hard, but it’s a little difficult for them to connect with you if you won’t let them.”

 

Daehyun’s face turns guilty at this. “I just, I figured it would be best if I intruded as little as possible…”

 

Yongguk notices Daehyun is speaking somewhat slowly, enunciating each word carefully, and a wave of understanding comes over him. “You don’t have to hide your accent, you know. Between my mumbling, Junhong, Himchan and Youngjae’s hyper rambling, and Jongup being Jongup, no one can understand anyone half the time anyway.”

 

Daehyun looks down as he chuckles and when he looks back up, his eyes are earnest, “Thanks, hyung.”

 

Yongguk tilts his head a little and Daehyun continues, “For making me feel less like a country boy lost in the big bad city. Really, thank you.”

 

Yongguk smiles and in a rare display of contact, covers one of Daehyun’s hands briefly with his own and gives in to the impulse to soothingly running his thumb over the ridges of the younger’s knuckles. “It’s not a problem. Now promise me you’ll make a little more effort with the others. I haven’t forgotten that first dinner, I know it’s in you. You’re one of us now, not an intruder. Okay?”

 

Yongguk tells himself he’s seen many lovely smiles in his lifetime, several of them from faces on billboards and TV’s around Seoul. That Daehyun’s is no different. No brighter, no sweeter, certainly no more beautiful.

 

(But it is.)

 

“Okay, hyung.”

 

*          *          *

November 2011

 

Three months pass and BAP is in the thick of their debut preparations. Yongguk observes the members from a corner of the practice room, idly fiddling with his iPod during a small break in their practice.

 

The boys are laughing at a story Junhong is telling, with visual aids from Jongup. Yongguk sees Youngjae enthusiastically making comments every now and then, looking to Daehyun. Yongguk knows Daehyun is easy to get along with; he had experienced that first hand. He was pleased when Youngjae, while he had not been his usual snarky self, had made continued attempts to befriend the other vocalist.

 

Daehyun laughs at something Youngjae says and Yongguk stops at the sight. The boy’s face is scrunched up, and his eyes nearly disappear. Yongguk is reminded of a kitten, and he feels a mild need to pet and cuddle the other boy.

 

He shakes his head.

 

It’s disturbing, he decides, and is a slippery slope to thoughts he wants to avoid. Yongguk has to keep reminding himself he can’t play favourites. His soft spot for Junhong was already more obvious than Himchan’s vanity, and Daehyun was beginning to carve out his own space. Luckily, the vocalist had eased up since their group talk and Daehyun’s free time was often occupied by the other members, allowing Yongguk the space he needed to keep himself in check.

 

Despite his often childlike image, Daehyun turned out to be quite a capable hyung. Himchan’s looks, Youngjae’s wit, and Yongguk’s, well, everything, made it difficult for the younger two to connect with them, initially. But Daehyun’s unassuming and carefree aura made him easy to talk to once he opened up, and his earnest and youthful face was a comfortable presence. He genuinely enjoyed playing games with Junhong and though Jongup was still as quiet as he has always been, he didn’t shy away from Daehyun’s friendly touch and was slowly growing closer to the elder as the weeks passed.

 

Youngjae and Daehyun had been nothing but civil to each other, but a mild tension between the two vocals had continued to underline their interactions for weeks after meeting. Even after the group’s frank discussion, where Daehyun had apologized for his part in their lackluster relationship, it wasn’t until Youngjae had stumbled upon the elder’s R&B playlist one day after practice (in a moment of curious snooping) that their relationship had blossomed into the inseparable brotherhood they shared now. The two were strikingly similar in many ways, but their many differences were what made them such a perfect match. Daehyun was more impulsive and quick to action, where Youngjae would pause and think; Youngjae was more emotional where Daehyun had a more steady heart. Yongguk only wished that both were a little less excitable; many a night had been spent shushing their excited whispered conversations between bunks.

 

Daehyun and Himchan got on like a house on fire, which was to say they fanned each other’s flames as much as they burned each other. It wasn’t long before Daehyun started being cheeky and mouthy towards the elder though, frankly, Himchan invites such behaviour from all his dongsaengs. The ulzzang is simply too easy to rile up. Yongguk can tell that Himchan adores the younger though, despite himself, and the two can often be seen cracking identical mischievous smiles as they affectionately torture the maknae line. Besides their common penchant for troublemaking, Himchan had patiently guided the younger (or if you asked Daehyun: forced him) through various shopping trips and meetings with coordi noonas in an effort to make him look less like, in the ulzzang’s words, “a malnourished elementary schooler”.

 

Yongguk has to admit that Himchan’s efforts have paid off. Since joining BAP, Daehyun had ditched much of his ill-fitting clothing for the more tailored style of the youth of Seoul. Slim jeans hugged his slender hips leading to stylish sneakers or trendy boots. Daehyun still favoured looser t-shirts and hoodies, but Himchan had managed to add some tailored shirts and jackets to his wardrobe, after much convincing. Stylists had also cut Daehyun’s shaggy hair into a shorter style, leaving longer fringe at the top of his head to frame his face and just barely brush his brows.

 

Yongguk finds himself staring at the younger now, as he plays a game with Youngjae on his iPad, the two maknaes looking over their hyung’s shoulders as they trash talk each other’s gaming. He doesn’t notice the presence beside him until he hears Himchan’s distinctive laugh. “You’ll burn a hole through Daehyunnie’s head if you keep looking at him like that.”

 

Yongguk turns away quickly and continues to thumb through his playlists, “Not looking at him.”

 

Himchans eyes roll, “Sure, Bbang. Whatever you have to tell yourself.”

 

Normally Yongguk would ignore Himchan, because Himchan is annoying. But he’s worried he’s being obvious. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Himchan seems to ponder his answer. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you and Daehyunnie are awkward as hell. You used to be fine, but now it’s like crickets. And it looks like it’s all on your side.” A pause. “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but if you feel-”

 

Yongguk gets up, he knows where this is heading. “I just don’t have much to say to him, that’s all. I figure there’s no point in forced conversation that’ll just end in us staring at each other with nothing to talk about and being uncomfortable.”

 

Himchan gives Yongguk a long look. There’s enough staring going on already between the two, and Himchan is the one that’s starting to feel uncomfortable.

 

Himchan can’t presume to know Daehyun’s exact feelings towards Yongguk, but it’s obvious to him and everyone else that the younger desires the same attention Yongguk gives the other dongsaengs. For whatever reason, much of Daehyun’s recent attempts to spend time with the elder had been gently circumvented by Yongguk, resulting in the younger almost avoiding him completely. The others brushed it off as Yongguk’s characteristic reserved nature and Daehyun’s fear of making a misstep with his leader.

 

Himchan isn’t convinced.

 

Daehyun doesn’t seem the type to shy away from his superiors. In fact, by now he was friendly with nearly all the staff, dancers and producers at TS, many of whom were much harsher than Yongguk when agitated. And Yongguk, while shy, certainly wasn’t this distant with anyone else in the group. Himchan knows well enough that Yongguk is deliberately avoiding being too close to the younger, but he also knows that pushing the two together would likely only result in Yongguk backing away even more and Daehyun being hurt in the process. But Yongguk is too busy hiding himself to see the way Daehyun’s eyes dim every time he shifts away from the vocalist, and Himchan feels for the younger.

 

Before Yongguk can start practice again, Himchan grabs his arm. “Just…be careful. Sometimes you end up hurting when you mean to help.”

 

Himchan leaves Yongguk to ponder the cryptic words as he joins the others, an arm easily sliding over Daehyun’s shoulders. Daehyun’s eyes look back to where Himchan had appeared from and lock with Yongguk. They hold each other’s gaze for a long second before Daehyun breaks the connection and Yongguk turns to begin the music again.

 

 

 


“Daehyun joined the group last and was not able to interact with the members well. We didn’t say much to each other. After quite a bit of time passed, we candidly talked about ‘why he doesn’t get along with the rest of the members’. After that, the kid slowly started to change. At first, he didn’t say much and did what he was told, but later he freely expressed himself, probably because he is a Kyungsang-do guy. He played the part of the middle man between the hyungs and dongsaengs well, which we are grateful for.” – Himchan (http://www.bapyessirfansite.com/2013/03/himchans-bap-story-in-star-column-by.html)


“In my trainee days, I was in charge of high notes and I’m not the type to use my vocals in a strong manner and there were lots of pressure with people telling me, “As a main vocalist of an idol group, you have to execute your high notes well.” However, when Daehyun joined the group, all the pressure for high notes disappeared and with us two sharing parts, I was happy that I was able to follow through with the kind of vocals I wanted to do (laughs).” – Youngjae (http://itsbap.com/post/23628454870/b-a-p-hot-debut-story-youngjae-4-i-felt-that)


YJ : Nevertheless, Daehyun is good at acknowledging our members’ existence. Even though we are younger than him, he knows what we can and cannot do and he takes good care of us. He is a good big brother. I feel that he is very good at supporting us but however he gives off a different feel from Yongguk’s hyung’s support.

DH : By the way, who is the member that is the most mysterious…… It is not me right?

YJ : It used to be you, but you are more outgoing and expressive of yourself now so your mysteries have been revealed! [Laughs]

(http://itsbap.com/post/44867735828/trans-november-2012-hallyu-pier-daehyun)


YJ: He’s honest and upright at heart, really. Daehyun can move by his instinct and put his thoughts into action quickly, but I have some parts where I’m more indecisive so… I think that’s where we are different in personality. (http://itsbap.com/post/61575130669/interview-b-a-p-in-k-boy-paradise-vol-10-youngjae)


HC : I’m the first one here, so let’s start on the usual first impressions interview. My first impressions of Daehyun is that he is a country bumpkin. (Laughs). I think that it’s because at that time, he just came from Busan. Anyhow, he changed his hairstyle and turned into the stylish and trendy young man he is now.

HC : When we are together, it is always very noisy and we will end up as a mess (*) so we normally avoid ending up together and creating a ruckus.

DH : If you say Himchan hyung is the mood maker, then I am definitely the one who spoils the mood. (Laughs)

HC : Instead of pointing out who we are, why not just say we are both troublemakers? Isn’t that right?

(http://itsbap.com/post/38380519011/trans-hallyu-pier-december-2012-hc-himchan)


 

Yongguk's being aloof, and Daehyun is getting closer to everyone else but farther from Bang Leader. Himchan is unimpressed.

Also, just a heads up, since I'm trying to make this story realistic (well, as much as it can be anyway) and I want to follow BAP's activities from debut to now, the progression might be a little slow. I know that some people like to get to the action right away, and that's fun too, but I've always loved that build up of tension~

Who knows, I might throw in a scene every now and then to whet your appetites ;)

Thanks for reading!

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Embers
Finally done with this story! I hope it was enjoyable, thank you!

Comments

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Sirosan
#1
Chapter 33: What a high quality fiction ! Thank you for this. Its soooo interesting when you mix both reality and fiction in a story! I had good time reading this!
ttrojja #2
Chapter 33: Woah, this story was a wild ride :p I've never seen anyone mix real events with the story, it feels so real... Anyway, I just wanted to say that the way you describe things is amazing, the adjectives you use, this kind of language... A could picture in my head the scenes and people you were describing and these were some of the most beautiful descriptions I've ever seen. I also liked the plot very much, although it was bittersweet. But emotions you portrayed felt real, not overreacted. Thank you for this amazing journey and for making me want to explore more Bangdae :p
Adaryn
#3
This is probably going to be one of my favorite fics ever! I've been listening to BAP for years but never really looked further than the music until recently, and this is one of the first fanfics I've read about them. I'm still trying to figure out who my bias would be but I think, because of this story, Daehyun has been bumped up to the top and I don't think he'll be moving anytime soon :D
So thank you so much for writing this wonderful story and finally helping me choose! (It was so hard because they're all so lovable from what I've seen so far!)
bangdaebak #4
Chapter 33: I'm going to cry, no actually, I already cried too much since their doubts but now I am going to cry because it has ended. This was good, too good to be true and too good for our own sake. Bless you for writing this, thank you xx (I am so glad there is a happy ending, I thought I had to clutch onto my heart harder)
bangdaebak #5
Chapter 23: Hi, I am probably late but I have only recently came across this. I have read till this chapter and I want to tell you thank you for writing this. You are amazing, your effort as a bangdae shipper needs to be acknowledged haha and I am sorry for only commenting after 23 chapters. I really love this work and I'm going to cherish it. Idk if u would still be reading this or are u even still active here or as a baby but I hope you don't stop. Don't stop writing, don't stop giving love to BAP, don't stop giving love to bangdae, don't stop giving love to BABYZ and bangdae shippers yay! xx thank you
Oh_My_Stars
#6
Chapter 33: I just finished reading this fic for the first time and I loved it. It was cute, sweet, and heart breaking all at once. What I loved the most is the fact that every part of the story went along with their real life events. Interviews, fan meets, shows, and concerts...all on point. It totally made the whole fic feel realistic. I was thoroughly impressed. <3
thechainfiction #7
Chapter 14: Chapter 14 : OMG i have re-read this chap several of times. As much as i read the intense Yongguk 's imagination which he would do to Dae as much more i understand him. I was literally quivering while reading all of your writing. The expression of both of them. When YG trying to pushing the little away because he about to lose control. And when DH assumed he might had upset his hyung with something. OMG i really like this kind of story. Thanks a lot for this or so that thanks i found your stories here. You are the greatest one among the other writers here. ^^
christinlogan #8
I know this is late (since I read it a while back) but I just had to say thank you for this masterpiece. THANK YOU SO MUCH ♡♡♡