BAP's first full length album will be coming out! Hopefully the next comeback brings with it more Bangdae. For now...

May 2012

It’s not until they’re in the midst of promoting ‘Power’ that Daehyun finally has time to really come to terms with his feelings for Yongguk. He could now consciously admire the elder, not just as a leader and hyung, but as a man, and not feel himself flush all over in shame and embarrassment. He misses the elder’s brunette hair and crew cut, the now purple strands at odds with the simple man Yongguk was. Daehyun recalls the firm pillow the elder’s shoulder made on nights when the dorm and his bed were too far away, a secure anchor for his fatigue and his dreams. Yongguk hardly ever touched him, any of them, but when he did the contact was enough to occupy Daehyun’s mind for days. Lately, he often found himself thinking about what it would be like if Yongguk felt more for him. Even lusted after him. The other day, they had both been in the kitchen grabbing late night snacks as the others slept in their beds and Daehyun nearly spilled cereal all over the floor when an unbidden image of Yongguk pressing him up against the counter came to mind. The next morning, Daehyun had woken overheated and needy as the last remnants of a dream that had him mewling and writhing beneath the leader faded.

Daehyun shakes the memory out of his head and ignores the curious look Youngjae throws him as they sit side by side, watching a drama on TV in their living room. Daehyun’s gaze occasionally flickers to where Yongguk is sitting at the kitchen table, tapping his pencil in irritation, occasionally scribbling something down before scratching it out just as viciously. He admires the strong face and the furrowed brow, etched with concentration. The plump lips the elder would bite occasionally and the strong neck that his hands would rub at in frustration. Yongguk is slowly retreating to that place in his mind that Daehyun can’t reach and his moments to be with the leader (when they’re not busy working) are already so few and far between.

What Daehyun wants is to leave his space on the couch with Youngjae and sooth the elder’s muscles with his hands; help clear away the frown on his hyung’s face and break the tension that laced his frame. He wants to wrap his arms around the man’s shoulders and plant sweet kisses to his temple, ease his headaches and whisper in his ears, You’re the best leader, hyung, don’t ever think otherwise. I wish you wouldn’t be so hard on yourself; you’re the reason I’m here, the reason we’re all here.

But it isn’t his place.

Despite this, he can’t let it go, Himchan is out with Manager Kang for something, and without the ulzzang Yongguk will likely soon lock himself in his room until he is forced to come out for food. Daehyun leans over the arms of the couch, “Hyung, what are you doing?”

Yongguk seems startled by the inquiry but shrugs, “Just…writing a song. I had an idea but I don’t know if it’ll pan out. I kind of what to have it ready for the next release, though.”

Daehyun worries his lower lip. Yongguk can be very private about his music, even songs meant for B.A.P weren’t revealed to them until at least half-done, but Daehyun takes a chance, “Can I see?”

Yongguk pauses but eventually nods, and even Youngjae seems surprised at this though he turns back to watch TV as Daehyun climbs out of his seat, too tired to do anything else. As Daehyun pulls up a chair next to Yongguk, he decides to be daring and sits as close as he thinks he can get away with, closer than perhaps was normal. Yongguk doesn’t say anything, and instead pushes the notebook to Daehyun, moving the arm on the younger’s side to the back of Daehyun’s chair, closing him into his space. Daehyun can feel the heat from the elder’s body and smell the faint scent of soap and aftershave, but forces himself to focus on the words in front of him. He reads them through a couple of times, it’s only a verse or two, but Daehyun can sort of see what Yongguk is trying to achieve.

“Huh…”

Yongguk raises a brow, “What?”

“You know, I was just thinking, this would sound interesting in satoori, you know, like…”

And when Daehyun slips back into the comfortable dialect, Yongguk is pleasantly surprised.

He ruffles the younger’s hair, relishing in the way the vocalist shyly ducks his head. “You might be on to something, Daehyunnie.”

*          *          *

Daehyun is laughing at Yongguk for the hundredth time, head thrown back and hands clutching his middle. Yongguk considers the other with an amused, if embarrassed, expression and shoves the vocalist’s head back in a show of mock anger.

“Yah, dongseng. It’s rude to make fun of your hyung, you know that? Himchan is right, you’re becoming too cheeky for your own good.”

Daehyun’s laughs die down and he smiles extra sweetly, “That’s because hyung spoils me and Himchan-hyung doesn’t spoil me enough.”

Yongguk ignores the way his face heats at that statement, covering it with a grunt, and turns back to frown at the lyrics in his hands. Trying to mimic the casual drawl of the Busan dialect is easier said than done and Yongguk isn’t sure he should even keep trying. He’s distracted from his worrying when the younger snatches the paper out of his hands.

“Hey-”

“You’re thinking too much, hyung.” Daehyun places the paper on the soundboard and turns back to the elder. “Pretend I’m just some you’ve bumped in to on the street.”

“…What?”

“Hyung’s too stiff, yeah? You ain’t gonna sound authentic if you read it like that. Ya think you’re a tough guy, huh?” Daehyun’s words are laced with the coastal twang and he punctuates his statement with a poke to Yongguk’s chest. Yongguk is about to scold the other before he realizes what the vocalist is trying to do. Daehyun’s looking at him with an expectant face and despite his embarrassment, he finds he can’t really say no.

Yongguk throws on a scowl. “Dudes, that’s just not it. Is music a joke? It’s not for us.”

Daehyun leans forward, eyebrow raised and arms casually resting on his legs, “Because you’re like that, I’m like this. If you weren’t like that, would I be like this?”

“Just stop and quit it. Just go away over there!” Yongguk glares back, but can’t keep the expression intact when the younger breaks into a happy smile. Yongguk grins as they finish the exchange and Daehyun playfully nudges his side as he claps happily.

“Wah, Yonggukie-hyung’s voice really suits Busan speech. So manly. Maybe there’s hope for you after all!”

“Ma!”

June 2012

Promotions for Power were finished and despite how tired B.A.P was, excitement for their new release was high. ‘No Mercy’ was the song that had most of their creative input to date, from Yongguk’s collaboration with Daehyun to Himchan’s instrumental drum composition. The choreography was less intense than they were used to, so the members found they had a little more downtime than usual and were enjoying it to the fullest. There was another reason for a celebration to be had: Daehyun’s birthday was fast approaching.

The vocalist hadn’t seen his family since their showcase and Yongguk had an idea that he used to hatch a plan with Manager Kang and Himchan’s help. The other members are aware and Daehyun is kept in the dark until the day before his birthday, when they all gather for a private group dinner before the small party that’s planned for tomorrow. They take Daehyun out to a quiet, but highly recommended restaurant with private dining rooms. Yongguk files in first and smiles at what he sees, Daehyun is chattering with Youngjae and Junhong behind him but his voice stops as he walks further into the room.

“Hyung? Hyung!” Daehyun moves forward happily as his older brother grips his hand in a shake, before tugging him in for a warm hug.

“Ma and Dad couldn’t make it, but I figured at least one of us should come. How are ya’, little bro?”

“Awesome! The best! Are you staying long? Where are you staying? Can he come back to the dorm with us?”

Daehyun’s brother laughs and ruffles the younger’s hair with obvious affection, “Listen to ya, speaking like a true Seoulite. Your Yongguk-hyung invited me to stay but I remembered ya said your dorm was the size of a tin of anchovies, so I’ll be stayin’ with a friend and then I’ll be leavin’ tomorrow afternoon.”

Daehyun laughs nervously as he looks at their Manager, “I didn’t say that, exactly, I said it was cozy. Like a tea shack.”

He turns back to his brother and leads him to a seat, continuing to talk as everyone settles in. “Well, you can still come over for a bit, right?”

"If it’s alright with your members.”

“Of course it is!” Himchan announces, “Any family of Daehyun’s is family of ours! Besides, I’m sure you have tons of embarrassing stories you can share and we can’t possibly get through them all during dinner.”

“Well, there was this one time…”

As dinner goes on, Yongguk laughs along with the others as Daehyun’s brother teases him as only a sibling can and reveals stories about Daehyun as a child. The man’s southern twang is comforting and his voice warm, like Daehyun’s. He’s not as loud as the younger can be, but he shares the same wide grin and eyes twinkling with mischief. Not once does he inquire about fame or fortune, Yongguk notes, instead he asks after his brother’s voice, health and whether he had been eating his veggies or if he was still stuffing himself with beef at every opportunity. As the night lengthens, so do Daehyun’s vowels and his accent eventually tumbles out of him with ease, charming and joyful. Yongguk takes in the image of the vocalist, selfishly storing away snapshots of his happiness. The wide smile might not be just for him, but he thinks this might be just as good.

*          *          *

Yongguk had stopped by the studio after dinner to help their producers with the final mixing for No Mercy. He returned to the dorm after midnight, slowly easing the door open and toeing off his shoes. The dorm is quiet and it seems like everyone is asleep until he moves past the entryway and further into the living room. The TV is on with the sound on mute, and Daehyun is sitting, asleep, with his head resting against his older brother’s shoulder. The man waves at Yongguk as the rapper takes a seat in the remaining couch.

“He’s out like a light…it seems wrong to leave him asleep alone on the couch on his birthday. Help me move him?”

They move him the distance to the bedroom and slowly lay him down on his cot. To Yongguk’s surprise, Daehyun remains asleep – he figures it’s probably because of the soju the younger had consumed earlier – and his hyung draws up Daehyun’s blankets around him before they file back out.

“Talked himself right to sleep.” The older man laughs, “I used to hate it, but now I miss hearing his voice all the time.”

Yongguk smiles, “Thanks for coming. I know Daehyunnie really missed you and his parents, even if he hides it.”

“Hey, no need to thank me. I couldn’t let my little bro spend his first birthday away without one of us there. I figure that’ll be happening soon enough, once ya’ll start sellin’ out concert halls everywhere and he’s away at some fancy hotel overseas.”

The man pauses before continuing, “Seems wrong to leave like this, but I didn’t have the heart to wake him. You all gotta be real tired, after all. I’ll come back tomorrow mornin’ before I leave for Busan, if that’s alright?”

Yongguk nods, “Of course, Daehyun would love that. And you should stay for breakfast, too.”

As the other man heads to the entryway and begins to lace up his shoes he sighs somewhat bitterly, “You know, I was worried when he said he’d be comin’ up here to be a singer, an idol. ‘Course I didn’t say anything of the sort, just gave him a hard time about prancing around on stage and wearing flashy clothes. I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been then. But you know, I can see that he’s happy. And I’m glad he has someone like you around. My parents and I, we want to tell you thanks. For takin’ care of him, and thinkin’ ‘bout him.”

Yongguk brushes off the gratitude as politely as he can, he’s sure they wouldn’t be so grateful if they knew exactly how much he thinks of their baby boy and how. “It’s nothing. We all look out for each other.”

The man rises and smiles warmly, “He talks ‘bout you a lot. Got us all believin’ you’re a saint, and I can see why.” He checks his watch and shrugs on his jacket before shaking Yongguk’s hand, “I should get going. I’ll see ya’ll tomorrow. ‘Night.”

Yongguk locks the door behind him and leans against it as he hears the footsteps fade. 

"My name is Daehyun. I was born on June 28, 1993. I have one older brother who is 3 years older than I am. Because my brother has a cold personality, he doesn't ask about which celebrities I've seen as he doesn't take much interest in that area and just asks how I've been doing."

SOURCE: 10ASIA (SOURCE); HEODANG @ TUMBLR (TRANS)

I don't know if I was successful in my attempt to differentiate the Busan accent, but I tried. I imagined it would be the Korean equivalent to the Texan accent. No Mercy era was a fun era. Everyone looked awesome, the dance was deadly, etc. I think it's pretty common knowledge that Daehyun helped Yongguk with the phrasing for No Mercy's rap. And as we get there, Daehyun's finally moving past the point of 'I might have a little hero crush on my leader'. Yongguk's still trying to be responsible, and I think we should all applaud his iron will, b/c how has he even lasted this long?

Thanks for reading!