A/N: Hi guysssss. First, I want to apologize because I keep hurting Doyoung and I feel like I'm a psychopath writing this chapter. Just.... just, please hang in there. I think of it over and over again to decide this. I know it feels frustrating to the readers. I hope you enjoy reading!!! ╮(─▽─)╭ 

Warning: This chapter contains violence such as the word attempted self-harm. Read with discretion.

Chapter 9

Doyoung's phone keeps ringing but he has no time to check who was the caller because he was busy watching the practice video. Doyoung keeps his life busy and takes care of himself. Last weekend was tiring, everything in Kim Doyoung life. He has mild attacks, sleep-deprived instances, and nausea. Jaemin was with him when he went for a check-up. The younger one learned everything about his illness and Doyoung got a headache while waiting for Jaemin to stop crying. Doyoung knows that the youngest is now his responsibility. Dr. Jin also explains fewer sad things, carefully handling the younger one's emotions. 

 

The look that Dr. Jin gives him is ambiguous. He was happy that he finally opened up with but of course, they know that it was an accident that Jaemin found out. Regardless of the fact, Dr. Jin embraces Jaemin and doesn't waste his time telling the younger one to take care of Doyoung. Even if it's a burden, Jaemin nodded enthusiastically. Doyoung left sighing at Dr. Jin's office

 

--

Four days. Doyoung is sick again. The practice at the studio is intense and they have a little break. The instructor is more strict and his favorite to pick up is Doyoung who was having a hard time moving. If he made the mistake, the members needed to adjust and they would repeat the same steps over again. Some of them look annoyed and frustrated but Doyoung can't keep up. 

 

Today is the fifth day of practice. The members stop talking and just focus on practicing while Doyoung is pale because of the exhaustion. He took medicines this morning but his body is weak. He eats diet food that Mr. Baek prepares every day but his sleep is compromised because he keeps watching the recorded video, trying to study his mistakes. It drives him crazy. 

 

"Doyoung hyung, are there any particular steps you're worried about?" Jaehyun asked him. He looks fresh and willing to teach Doyoung so he won't make mistakes later. 

 

"It's fine," Doyoung mumbled. He didn't want to reject it but his stamina wouldn't last if they started to practice now.

 

"Okay." Jaehyun's eyes are clouded with so many emotions. He looks dejected but lets it go. He went to Johnny and Yuta to try practicing simple steps at a slower pace. 

 

Two hours but the instructor isn't calling for a break. It's beyond exhausting and Doyoung's eyes are dropping. He made sure to follow the pace so they could take the break just once. 

 

"Alright. You guys improve but there's always trash that needs to be clean. Break for now." The instructor looks at Doyoung's way before heading out of the studio. The members collapse to the ground catching their breaths. 

 

"Ahhh! I'm so tired!" Haechan shouted, gritted his teeth and produced a menacing aura, and looked at the same door the instructor used in leaving. 

 

"He's a devil," Taeil commented half-smiling but his eyes said differently. 

 

"I will tell this to the management," Yuta mumbled while grabbing the towel and using it to his face. 

 

"Isn't that too mean? We could do this though." Jaehyun mutters but Doyoung indirectly shows his emotion and the members swifty catch it. 

 

"Doyoung is pissed," Johnny said and raised his brow. 

 

"Doyoung hyung is always the weak ones," Jaehyun commented with no filter. Directly saying his thoughts. 

 

"I'm practicing too, you know." He tried... Doyoung tried to sound neutral but his voice betrayed him. He sounded upset. 

 

"Hyung, we know that but the members were affected by your mistake." Jaehyun rolls his eyes, he doesn't mean harm but his words are like a blade to Doyoung. 

 

"Jaehyun enough!" Yuta scolded him. He doesn't want to admit it himself but the younger one has a point but it will be too harsh from Doyoung's perspective.  Based on his expression, he was aware of it too. 

 

"Excuse me." Doyoung stood up grabbing his backpack and walked out of the room.

 

The members are left at the studio in silence. Haechan isn't saying anything. Confused written on his face, he never witnessed his hyungs argument before. They always do it with a joke but today is different. Taeyong isn't here with them, no one will handle the situation. Johnny, Taeil, Yuta, the members who Haechan thought could remain calm and sort out the situation failed to do it. Doyoung is upset and Haechan understands it. Jaehyun is also upset even before the practice started. Haechan lowered his head and messed up his hair. His hyungs are giving him a headache. 

--

Doyoung opened the door of the same toilet he used last time of his attack. He didn't like walking out like drama king because he wasn't upset by Jaehyun remarks. He will never be upset over things he knows are his fault. Doyoung could feel that his body is changing, that's the reason why he left... He looks at the mirror. 

 

Blood. 

 

Blood drips from his nose made Doyoung out of guard. The clean tiles near the faucet are already covered with lots of blood. Doyoung's heart raced as the blood kept drifting from his nose. This isn't good. Doyoung didn't know how long their break would end. Mr. Baek is in the meeting and Doyoung can't bring himself to disturb him. 

His veins show up, the white skin white as snow is paler. The blood didn't stop. Doyoung felt danger and dialed Dr. Jin's number with his bloodied hand. He's panicking. 

 

"Hello? Doyoung?" Dr. Jin answered the phone quickly and Doyoung is thankful for that. 

 

"I'm bleeding again. I don't know what to do. I'm on break when it happens." Doyoung speaks faster. No matter what he did, the blood isn't stopping. 

 

"Doyoung calm down. Do the posture I taught you. How many minutes did it start?" Dr. Jin's voice is firm and that made Doyoung calmer. 

 

"Two-three minutes! H-Hyung... W-What if I passed out here?" Doyoung voice cracks. His brain isn't functioning well. Nausea rolled over his head sending severe panic to Doyoung. 

 

"Doyoung, you need to be calm. I will come now, just don't leave that place. Do you understand?" Doyoung nodded even though Dr. Jin wasn't seeing him. He closes his eyes and concentrates. No, he will be fine. Nothing bad will happen. 

 

Doyoung got startled when his phone rang again. He couldn't recognize the call because of the blood covering the screen but somehow answered it. 

 

"Doyoung, where are you? Yuta will treat us to lunch." Taeil said in the other line. He sounded pleased. 

 

"I-I..." Doyoung moans because of the headache. "Doyoung? Are you okay?" Taeil frowned and stopped walking. He was in the hallway meters away from the toilet where Doyoung resided. 

 

"I'm fine Hyung. I just urghhh..." Doyoung accidentally ended the call because his knees gave out and couldn't keep standing. His phone screen is full of blood. In a trembling hand, Doyoung dialed Mr. Baek. 

--

Taeil keeps calling Doyoung but he's out of reach anymore. The members looked at him with awe. Exchanging confused gaze because Taeil is acting strange. 

 

"Hyung? What's wrong?" Haechan is quick to realize that something is awry with his hyung acting. 

"I don't know. I called Doyoung... He sounded strange... The call ended. I tried to call him again but he's out of reach." Taeil fingers are busy manipulating his phone then repeats dialing Doyoung's number. 

"Hyung calm down." Jaehyun's face shows worries and picks up his phone to call Doyoung but like everyone else, the call isn't connected. 

 

Mr. Baek is on the phone after Dr. Jin called him. He tells him the exact location while running up the stairs. He couldn't wait for the elevator to lift him, rather he was nervous. 

 

Mr. Baek saw Doyoung covered in blood on his white t-shirt. He passed out and everything else is camouflaged with blood. Dr. Jin called him and quickly ran to the toilet and saw Doyoung's condition. 

"We need an ambulance." Dr. Jin's face is breathing hard, he looks upset and worries are all over his face. 

 

"He needs to get to the hospital!" Dr. Jin dialed his phone after giving Doyoung first aid. He could feel his breathing but lots of blood was out of his body and it's only a matter of time for an attack. 

"The ambulance is already here. I already called them in advance just in case. God Baek! I told you to look out for him!" Dr. Jin's face is pissed. He stops after exhibiting his attitude and tries to calm his nerves. After minutes, the paramedics help them to carry Doyoung. 

Mr. Baek sent them to the fire exit so one could see them. There's an IV on Doyoung's arm and an oxygen tube. Dr. Jin's mouth is shut to a thin line. He is a doctor but he has never been scared of a patient all his career until now. They quickly got to the ambulance and drove to the hospital.

--

Taeil's heart is beating rapidly. They came back to the studio to get their bags before walking out to dial Doyoung's phone. Yuta, Johnny, Jaehyun, Haechan, and Taeil are waiting at the elevator when Haechan hears a phone ring near the male toilet. It echos because of the quiet surroundings.

"Hyung. Isn't Doyoung hyung ringtone?" Haechan asked innocently. He frowned and listened to the sound. 

"Oh? Yes, it's a Doie tune." Johnny commented and joined Haechan in searching where the sound came from. 

 

"Keep calling him Hyung," Yuta said and walked near the toilet. 

"Doesn't the sound come from here?" Jaehyun mumbled and opened the door. 

 

'Gasp.'

The members stood frozen after seeing lots of blood at the faucet and the tile floor. There are also handprints covering the mirror and the perimeters. Taeil ran shortly to check the cubicles calling for Doyoung but no one answered and the cubicles were empty.

 

"! Doyoung!" Johnny started to move after hearing the oldest curse. 

 

"Where is Kim Doyoung?!" Taeil eyes started to form tears. His breathing is enormous. He stayed near the blooded faucet and found a black thing that resembled Doyoung's phone. 

 

"Oh, God! Oh, God! Johnny!" Haechan's face is full of terror. He stood frozen, unable to move while his breathing broke off. He looks for his Hyungs Yuta and Jaehyun who also looks mortified while Johnny shaking hand grip Doyoung's phone. 

The phone is full of blood from the screen to the back. Johnny washes it just to confirm that it was indeed owned by Doyoung. There's a ton of miss calls and messages. They didn't breathe, no one dared to speak while Haechan started to sob. 

 

"Shhssss" Mr. Baek quickly goes back to the toilet but only to found out the shocked members. Mr. Baek covers Haechan's eyes and drags him out of the toilet. Haechan is startled but calm down when he saw their manager. 

 

"Hyung... D-Doyoung hyung... Blood..." Haechan begins sobbing again and Mr. Baek has no choice but to drag Jaehyun and Yuta outside to take care of the maknae. 

 

"Hyung! What happened here? We need to call the police!" Taeil eyes are red with tears while Johnny has red-shot eyes. They both tremble while looking at Doyoung's phone in Johnny's grip. 

 

"Calm down. Doyoung is already in the hospital. He will be fine." Mr. Baek says. "Please go outside. I will clean this quickly and we will talk." Taeil blinked several times. His tears stopped but didn't speak. He dragged Johnny out of the toilet and they waited outside. 

 

--

"Hyung! What happened to Doyoung? Was he attacked?" Taeil impatiently asked, worried to the younger member. 

 

"No, he's not." Mr. Baek bites his lip because doesn't know how to explain it to the members. 

Taeil's red-shot eyes wavered, lots of emotions could be read and Mr. Baek is stunned by the way Taeil looks at him. Jaehyun is still in shock, he remains quiet. Afraid of the situation. 

"He didn't hurt himself right?" Yuta provoke. He looks hurt and mad. His hand remains gripped, but on the verge of crying. 

 

"Yuta!" Taeil's reaction is aggressive, trying to deny the thoughts his brain provides him. He looks miserable and no one of the members in their right mind is comforting one another. They were startled and horrified. 

 

"No." Mr. Baek said, the members aren't convinced based on how they look at him. 

 

"I-It's an accident. Doyoung slip." Mr. Baek never lies but this time words are naturally coming out from his mouth. 

 

"He slipped?" Jaehyun regains his rationality and can sort out speaking. Jaehyun feels twice as tired. His brain stops functioning and he looks like a fool standing frozen earlier.

 

"Yes. It's an accident. I called the ambulance and he was transferred to the hospital. The doctor there is their family doctor. He handled Doyoung and I just received a text message. He said he's fine." Mr. Baek mumbled with a small smile on his face. 

". I thought my heart would stop beating." Johnny manages to say while some of the members relax. Haechan stops crying but hiccuping. Yuta gives water to the maknae. 

 

"I need to see him," Taeil said with finality.