I faded in and out of consciousness, each time I came to consciousness, it was for a few brief moments, each time I came around, all I felt was blinding pain.

“Hurry! Get him to ER one!” I heard a doctor shout.

Flashback

“Umma! Look I drew a picture!” 5 year old Hana ran up to me jumping into my arms.

“Really?! Let’s see!” I said looking at the picture Hana held up proudly for me to see.

“What’s going on?” Jonghyun laughed, coming up behind me, kissing Hana’s cheek and me on the lips.

“She’s showing me her newest picture.” I told him, gesturing with my head to Hana’s drawing.

“Wow! It’s so pretty!” He said.

The picture was of a bunch of fish, swimming this way and that, what was supposed to be a dolphin was jumping out of the water happily. It was cute and colorful. I walked into the kitchen with Hana in my arms, and hung it on our fridge.

“Yay!” She squealed when she saw me put it on the fridge.

“Now everyone can see your picture!” I told her, kissing her nose.

“Yee!” she clapped her hands. “I’m going to make another one!”

I let her down so she could go back to her coloring. I felt Jonghyun wrap his arms around my waist and his chin came down to rest on my shoulder.  I smiled and leaned my head on his.

“She’s so cute.” He said.

“I know.” I smiled.

“So I have a question.”

“Okay?”

“Why do you refuse to get her coloring books?”

“Because all the parenting books say that they don’t encourage creativity.”

“She’s plenty creative on her own.” He chuckled.

“I know, but still.” I sighed.

“I hate to break it to you, but she’s not going to be the next Picasso, yeobo.” He laughed against my neck.

“Dammit! What happened?!” I heard a familiar voice shout out behind me.

It took me a moment to remember where I was. The white walls blended in with the ceiling, giving me vertigo, it also didn’t help that my vision was blurring.

“What’s his name?!” Another doctor shouted out.

“Kim Kibum.” The familiar voice responded. I couldn’t quite place who the voice belonged to though. “Why won’t anyone tell me what is happening?!”

“He was shot by a woman identified as Shin Sekyung before she turned the gun on herself.”

“And his husband?” The familiar voice asked.

Jonghyun. I tried to listen closer but the pain was becoming too much and I soon felt myself slipping back into unconsciousness.

 Flashback

“Be careful!” I shouted at Jonghyun and Hana.

I stood in the middle of our round driveway watching Hana, (now five and a half) learn to ride a bike without training wheels. Apparently it took both my husband and Minho to teach a five year old how to ride a bike.

“Do you think they need help?” Onew asked standing next to me. Both Taemin and I shot Onew incredulous looks. “What?”

“Hyung, you’re the last person who should teach someone how to ride a bike…” Taemin said matter-of-factly.

“Ya! I’m not that clumsy!” Onew retorted.

“Oh will you two stop?” I rolled my eyes at them “Onew, you shouldn’t be helping anyone learn how to ride a bike or with anything requiring any form of hand-eye coordination, and Taeminnie stop instigating. You know that all of this is on camera right?!”

“You’re actually recording this?!” Taemin asked, laughing.

“Of course I am! My baby is learning to ride a bike today!”

“Hi, future Hana! Umma is being a grouch today!” Taemin shouted in an excited voice.

“YA! I am not!” I shouted at him. “Don’t listen to him, Hana. Umma is perfectly fine.”

“Hi Hana! You’re doing such a great job, kiddo!” Onew shouted.

“Will you two stop it?!” I half shouted.

“Nooooo! This will be forever on tape! Even when we’re all dead, Hana will go back and watch this and hear us talking to her!” Taemin laughed.

“Stop! That’s so morbid!” I cried at the same time Onew said “He has a point.” We all just laughed.

“Hyung,” Taemin Onew “I don’t know why you think this is so funny. You’ll be the first one to die out of the five of us.” This caused Onew’s face to fall a little.

“You punk!” He cried, play lunging at Taemin.

“It’s not my fault you’re an old man!” Taemin shouted, sticking his tongue out. That did it. Onew started playfully chasing Taemin around the driveway, both of them shouting at each other. Finally they raced around my daughter, Jonghyun, and Minho, causing Hana to laugh. Jonghyun got an amused yet confused look on his face, and Minho misread the whole situation and began chasing after Onew. This did it for Jonghyun and he collapsed on the ground pointing and laughing hysterically. My daughter was laughing just as hard. I just stood there and capture it all on film.

“Take a good look, Hana, these are your idiot uncles. They make us look more than sane, don’t they?” I laughed behind the camera.

A bright light brought me back to reality. I could hear people running around me, and I felt my shirt being torn off. Wait, I wanted to shout, that’s a nice shirt! but I didn’t have the energy to make any sound, let alone shout out an entire sentence.

“Where is the other surgeon?!” A voice called, I assumed he was one of the surgeons.

“He’s coming as we speak,” A female voice told him “He’s about five minutes away.”

“That’s too long, we can’t wait! We’re going to have to start now!”

I started to feel something cold run up my arm, and then the world started to go black.

Flashback

“Ae, ah, ye, yeh, wa, wo, wae, we.” Hana’s voice echoed from her playroom. We sat in front of the big alphabet poster Jonghyun and I had bought for her. By “we” I mean, I was sitting and she was seated in my lap. Hana was learning how to read the Korean alphabet.

“Way, wi, oe!” She looked up at me and smiled widely, clearly proud of herself. She could easily read and write in English (something that surprised Jonghyun and I but at the same time, it did make sense for her to know that) but she did struggle with the Korean alphabet. It made sense for her to find the Korean alphabet a little difficult, the English one is simpler and the Korean alphabet is all symbols where the English one is not.

“Good job!” I encouraged her. “What does this say?” I pointed to the symbol for nea.

“Umm...nah?” She was really trying, she even stuck her tongue out.

“Close but no cigar.” Jonghyun said behind me.

“Hey.” I said laughing as he came up and kissed us both before sitting down, Hana crawling into his lap.

“Appa!” she squealed in happiness, throwing her arms around him.

“Hey!” he laughed hugging her close “A little delayed but, I’ll take it.”

“Be nice!” I whispered in his ear.

“What?!”

“You know what I mean!”

“I love you, yeobo.”

“Hey!” Hana scowled.

“Well of course I love you too, my little angel.” He kissed her nose and she smiled.

“I’m sorry, I got caught up on another patient!” I heard Dr.Jung’s voice register.

“That’s okay, we need all the help we can get right now!” The other doctor voice echoed in my mind.

“What patient were you with?” I heard another voice ask.

“Kim, Hana. The patient’s daughter.” Dr.Jung said, his voice flat as if he were making himself emotionless.

“The girl who just died?”

“Yes.” His voice cracked. “I did all I could but the bleeding in her head was too much. She went braindead. It breaks my heart to lose patients in general, but especially the young ones."

What?! Dead?! My daughter was...she was...dead?!

No. no. no. no. no. NO.  My baby could not be dead! I just got her, I held her in my arms two days ago, I told her I loved her and watched her skip off. There’s no way my baby was dead. Not when she was so alive, so bright, so happy. NO! I couldn’t lose my baby. She wouldn’t just leave us. She wasn’t like that. She loved life. She loved us. How could she just give up?

But what if, just maybe, she didn’t give up? What if she was doing what she thought was best for you? A little voice sounded in my head.  NO! My baby couldn’t be gone. This is all a dream. A sick dream. If I just squeezed my eyes shut and wished it all away, then I’d wake up and it’d all be over.

Yeah, I’d wake up and Jonghyun would be laying next to me, and Hana would be sound asleep in her room, clutching the teddy bear we got her for Christmas a year ago. None of this would’ve happened, and it’d just be some sick nightmare.

Come on, Key. Don’t lie to yourself. You’re many things but a liar is not one of them. The voice told me again.

“Kibum…” I heard a voice say in the distance. As I heard  my name, I felt a sudden and unbearably intense pain in my chest. I couldn’t breathe, it hurt too much.

This must be what it’s like to lose your entire world.

This must be what it’s like to lose you whole heart and soul.

So this is what a broken heart feels like.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************

A/N:

Agh! Don't hurt me!! I..I...it's hard to explain why I chose to do this. I wanted her to live too but I had to put myself in Hana's shoes and think about if I were her, what would I do? It was really hard, but I finally decided that if I was Hana I wouldn't want to put my parents through the pain of watching me struggle everyday and get frustrated because I couldn't do what I wanted. I mean, it wouldn't be very fair to her parents and it wouldn't be fair to her either. It was so hard, I literally spent the most time on this chapter. I've been working on this chapter since yesterday, but it was such a hard chapter to write. It killed me to write this. I didn't want Hana to die either trust me. I kept crying when I wrote this because I wrote this whole chapter as if I were really Key and so I got so into being Key that I started to feel his pain and that was not easy (E/N: I think it's really hard not to feel like you're Key. He's a very well developed character). That's why I threw in the flashbacks. I needed to have some sort of fluff and happiness otherwise it was going to be depressed for like weeks (E/N: Ditto.) and I have too much to do in order for me to be depressed for such a long time.

The final chapter is still in the process of being written, it's a tough chapter to write. It's got a lot going on, it's got fluff, and a lot of 2min. I love the chapter so far and it's perfect for summing up the whole story. It's just...wow. Bre has definitely been working her off on this chapter (E/N: Thank you :D) . I can't wait for it to be finished :) (E/N: I'm working as fast as I can. This weekend is going to hectic for me so if I get the chance to even sit down, I'll be pleasantly surprised. After all, you can't rush genius and perfection ;P).

So I thought that I should share the  quote and songs I was thinking of when I was writing/listening to.

"Please mommy, dont cry, do not be sad.
Treasure the time how ever short we had.
I miss you too, but I can feel your love.
Even up here flying, like a little dove.

I know it seems scary, and you feel all alone.
No one can ever replace me, I was your own.
Your sadness means I was loved every day.
Though you cant see me, beside you I lay.

It takes so much courage, for you to go on.
I know our time together, wasn't very long.
But you now will be stronger for knowing me.
It will be okay some day mommy, you will soon see.

In the times that are hard, remember I am here.
Never far from you watching; always very near.
It isn't fair we have to live so far away.
But don't worry; I hear everything that you say.

I am with you with every step that you take.
Sending reminders I love you, for your sake."

Songs:

-So Goodbye (Music Box) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyFZJzqaoy8

-Halo (Beyonce)

-If I Die Young (The Band Perry)

-Hate Me (Blue October)

-Grey Paper (Yesung)

-Time Machine (Music Box) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGZIUmZvRB4&list=RD02SyFZJzqaoy8

-Kiss the Rain (Music Box) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amkr9U1l0JY&list=RD02SyFZJzqaoy8

As always, thank you to everyone who is reading the story and/or has  been following the story chapter by chapter. You guys are the best!!! I love all the comments, they are so much fun to read and I look forward to reading them when I get on :) Hope you liked this chapter, even though it's by far the hardest one I've written!