The time dissolved into itself... It was the longest kiss I ever had with Hanbin, the most intensive and merciless one. The lust overwhelmed us. When my feet reached the floor again I was unable to sustain my balance. My legs felt the pressure of 1000 pounds and trust me, I barely ate that day, yet it felt like fat Amy was jumping on my back.

A deep curve on his lips made the world stop around us again, a smile that ravaged my stomach played on his beautiful face. 

I knew that my next sentence was going to wipe it off  but all I needed was to hear his honest thoughts. 

''Hanbin, can you be honest with me at least for the last time?'' My serious tone seemed to take him aback. His face formed a grimace while his eyes were like midnight and ravens wings. They had that type of darkness that wasn't dark, more like a sweet silence before dawn and responsibility. He nodded shortly, assuring me that I can go on with my questions.

''Why did you ask Sumin to pretend that you two were dating? Why did you to lie me about your feelings? '' Hanbin's face expression changed drastically. He looked aside as he tried to avoid my eyes and started to bit his lower lip nervously. 

''Look at me.'' I demanded but, of course, he didn't even bother to move so I cupped his cheeks and forced him to.

Once I looked into his eyes, I noticed there was nothing to behold. An endless depth of ink, sorrow and pain. I couldn't see the whites of his eyes nor the vessels that flowed through them. His eyes were depths of Tartarus which was holding a thousand souls, yet no one could be seen there... No one except me. I was a prisoner into Hanbin's Tartarus and the sad thing about it was that I didn't even mind.

''Can we risk everything for our feelings? Can you risk your freedom and safety?'' He gently removed my hands away from his face but didn't let them go. His palms started to sweat, I could feel how uncomfortable was the situation for him.

''Is it about me or about you? You don't want to lose your fangirls, right? You enjoy all the attention you get and you don't what to lose that.'' I expected him to get angry, to shout, to push me away. I prepared myself for a rough behavior but instead of that he just caressed my hair. 

''The only one that I never wanted to lose was you, Hana... But I'm afraid that if I will be selfish about this, serious consequences will come up.'' He took a deep breath before continuing his line of thoughts. '' Why did I lie about my feelings? Because I know yours are just as strong as mine. I could feel the hunger for each other in every kiss we had, I wouldn't be able to stop it even if I wanted to and I'm sure it would be the same for you.'' He was right. I could never resist him even if I wanted to. No matter how much he hurts me I would always choose him instead of everyone else. I stopped hating him but I started to hate myself for becoming weak.